The Currency of Relationship

Last month, I introduced you to a book by the Rev. Dr. Eric Law entitled, “Holy Currencies.” Eric’s focus is on the “currencies” that flow through ministry that make our ministries sustainable and missional. One of these currencies is the currency of relationship.

We are all aware that social networks have value precisely because they help us to achieve what we could not achieve on our own. It is through our networks that we find partners, friends, healthy relationships. We have a choice in choosing who is in our network or which network we are a part of. We also have a choice to decide what to spread through our network. Do we use it to spread lies or tell truth, instill fear or foster trust, propagate hate or share love, break down or build sustainable communities?

You’ve probably heard of “six degrees of separation” which refers to the idea that on average we are only six relationships away from any other person on earth. There is also a theory known as “three degrees of influence” which says that everything we do or say tends to ripple through our network, having an impact on our friends, their friends, and their friends’ friends. Our influence gradually dissipates and ceases to have noticeable effect on people beyond these three degrees of influence.

Consider this…an inspiring worship at a church that moves 100 people to do good in the community can have the potential of influencing 500 people in the first degree, 2,500 people in the second degree and 12,500 people in the third degree to also do good. In a small town of under 10,000 people, this means what happens in worship for a small church can have the potential to influence almost everybody in the community. We have a great responsibility for the networks of which we are a part.

Jesus said, “I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (selected verses from John 15).

Even though Jesus’ initial network was composed mostly of Jews, he also commanded his friends to be his witnesses to the ends of the earth. Building and strengthening the internal network is an essential first step for every church. However, if we are to fulfill Jesus’ command to love our neighbors as ourselves and to spread this love to the ends of the earth, we must learn to develop relationships outside our community of faith, connecting with people in our neighborhood, our city or town, our nation, and across the earth.

Remember the story of Mary and Martha. Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, but she was distracted by her many tasks while Mary came and sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. Many in our churches are like Martha. We are so used to “doing” church that we might neglect to be more like Mary: to be, to listen, and to relate.

Today, one of the determining factors for whether one goes to church is relationship. People go to church because they have relationships with people there, and these relationships are also exchanged for other currencies such as truth, wellness, and leadership. We need to refocus our church’s ministries on being relational. What would our programs be like if we were focusing on building relationships as well as getting the job done?

Having strong relationships among members of the church is essential for a sustainable ministry. Church members will gladly offer their volunteer hours for ministries when they have strong ties to the church community. Through a strong internal network in our congregations, raising leaders is accomplished usually by friends inviting another friend into some leadership role. Members can offer their gifts and skills for ministry, not only as individuals but also working together in teams, because of the relationships that are already developed.

In addition to building relationships among members of our congregations, we need to maximize our relationships with other congregations in our community. Having working relationships with other churches will enable churches to pool their resources of time and place, money, and gracious leadership to create and sustain ministries that can be done together while respecting the unique ministries of the separate communities. Churches in the same area can also enable each other to see the bigger picture of the needs and concerns of the larger community and find resources to support ministry projects they can do together.

The key purpose to developing relationships is to create wellness within the church community – spiritual, social, and sometimes financial wellness. How much time does your congregation spend building relationships? Is there time during and after worship for relationship-building? What portion of your budget includes relationship-building ministries?

 

Deborah Rexrode
Associate for Stewardship for the Presbytery of the James

 

(Taken from “Holy Currencies: 6 Blessings for Sustainable Missional Ministries”
by Eric H. F. Law.)

Leave Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.